Life Goals, Listed:

"macanamera" (macanamera) 04/21/2015 at 14:17 • Filed to: None

10

50

Figure out why Chipotle doesn’t offer a large-size guacamole

Have a sweet shirt with an airborne Celica rally car on it

Have an article published to the FP

Be mentioned in an Oppo title tag line thingy

Make the best damn pan-seared steak this side of New Orleans

Have a cool dog

Do a sick burnout

Drink delicious beers often

Wrestle a Cape Buffalo to the ground with my bare arms

Be better at Forza Horizon 2 than Brian Silvestro

Be way better at Forza Horizon 2 than Brian Silvestro

Carl (@stuffcarlsays) > macanamera 04/21/2015 at 14:18

1

In regard to #1 - no matter what the size, they’ll always tell you that it’s extra... and ask if that’s ok.

dogisbadob > macanamera 04/21/2015 at 14:19

0

their guac isn’t big enough for you :p

Brian Silvestro > macanamera 04/21/2015 at 14:19

1

LOL you wish

macanamera > Carl (@stuffcarlsays) 04/21/2015 at 14:19

1

They literally just need to get a slightly bigger plastic container, price it higher, and call it a large. I don’t even care if I save any money.

For Sweden > macanamera 04/21/2015 at 14:19

1

Is your name Brt?

Then no.

macanamera > Brian Silvestro 04/21/2015 at 14:20

1

relax bruh

macanamera > dogisbadob 04/21/2015 at 14:21

2

i love big guac

macanamera > Brian Silvestro 04/21/2015 at 14:21

0

ok i fixed the list

macanamera > For Sweden 04/21/2015 at 14:23

0

how do you know what my name is or isnt

sefeing, actually bought an E46 > macanamera 04/21/2015 at 14:24

0

Figure out how to make the chipotle chicken at home.

macanamera > sefeing, actually bought an E46 04/21/2015 at 14:26

0

I can make far better chicken

Party-vi > macanamera 04/21/2015 at 14:26

4

Because guacamole is green booger paste and the bane of my existence.

OPPOsaurus WRX > macanamera 04/21/2015 at 14:29

1

#10 and #11

Textured Soy Protein > macanamera 04/21/2015 at 14:30

1

Make this guacamole and you won’t need to go to Chipotle anymore:

3-4 avocados (3 big ones, 4 small ones)
Juice of 1 small lime
1 large jalapeno, de-seeded & minced
2 cloves garlic, minced
2 green onions, finely sliced
1 shallot, small dice
1/4 cup cilantro, chopped
Optional: cherry or grape tomatoes, small dice
Salt & pepper to taste

Juice your lime into a mixing bowl. Then scoop out your avocados into the bowl and mash them up with the lime juice using a potato masher. Once you’ve achieved your desired consistency, add your jalapeno, garlic, green onions & shallot (and optional tomato), stir with a big spoon, and season with salt & pepper.

Pro tip: save the pits from your avocados and add them to the bowl, then cover tightly with plastic wrap until ready to serve. This will prevent browning.

Here’s how to break down an avocado, but you can skip the slicing before scooping if you’re just mashing them up for guacamole.

macanamera > Textured Soy Protein 04/21/2015 at 14:31

0

Oh dude I make fantastic guac, I just don’t always want to. Sometimes I just want to buy it, but more than a fucking teaspoon of it.

For Sweden > Party-vi 04/21/2015 at 14:31

1

Are you Spiegel?

McMike > macanamera 04/21/2015 at 14:37

0

12. Get StreetView’d

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > macanamera 04/21/2015 at 14:38

0

I question your commitment to the guac. What I mean is, you need to just get like 10 small containers and make a guacloo. It’s like an igloo, but plastic and guacamole. Consider the fact they don’t offer a big container as a nothingburger, because from innovation and ain’t care comes... guacloo.

Biased Plies > macanamera 04/21/2015 at 14:38

3

macanamera = acameraman

My mind wanders, what are we talking about?

KusabiSensei - Captain of the Toronto Maple Leafs > macanamera 04/21/2015 at 14:41

0

Well, I don’t get mentioned for anything, so you get some consolation for that.

CalzoneGolem > macanamera 04/21/2015 at 14:41

1

He’s got a scrying orb.

Milky > macanamera 04/21/2015 at 14:41

2

I invoke rule SR20 on #9.

KusabiSensei - Captain of the Toronto Maple Leafs > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 04/21/2015 at 14:44

0

Only in Canada, eh?

Party-vi > For Sweden 04/21/2015 at 14:45

1

No, but avocado has no business being in sushi. So maybe.

macanamera > Milky 04/21/2015 at 14:51

5

Never doubt me again

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > KusabiSensei - Captain of the Toronto Maple Leafs 04/21/2015 at 14:52

0

Nonsense. Guacloos’ insulating properties would be useful anywhere.

uofime > Textured Soy Protein 04/21/2015 at 15:01

0

I prefer the lazy method which is just one part hot chunky salsa to two parts avocado. Yes, yes, its marginally better if you make the salsa yourself but when I want guacamole I need it now!

Textured Soy Protein > uofime 04/21/2015 at 15:05

1

That sounds terrible.

sefeing, actually bought an E46 > macanamera 04/21/2015 at 15:13

0

You’re a dirty liar. Unless you prove it to me.

Rico > Textured Soy Protein 04/21/2015 at 15:18

0

Saved this recipe, thanks!

Rico > Party-vi 04/21/2015 at 15:20

1

When I first tried sushi my friend didn’t tell me wasabi was not guacamole, hell they weren’t even on the same plate so I took a spoonful in and nearly killed myself lol.

Brian, The Life of > macanamera 04/21/2015 at 15:20

0

Now go after Chipotle!

::WINK::

uofime > Textured Soy Protein 04/21/2015 at 15:21

0

why, salsa tends to be that exact list of ingredients you gave minus avocado and lime juice?

Party-vi > Rico 04/21/2015 at 15:23

1

Nice. My friend and I would always see who could eat more. The loser would pay for the meal, while the winner would have tears streaming down their face.

Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. > macanamera 04/21/2015 at 15:30

0

Answer to#1: Avocados are expensive, so you can have your large guac, you’ve just got to pony up for it.

Textured Soy Protein > uofime 04/21/2015 at 15:35

0

“Hot chunky salsa” likely comes from a jar, yes? Jarred salsa is gross. It’s been cooked, and is full of salt and vinegar. Plus, far too much tomato for guacamole.

Guacamole should be fresh and clean tasting, not gross jarred salsa mixed with avocado.

Blech.

StoneCold > Party-vi 04/21/2015 at 15:52

0

Blasphemy. California rolls are godly.

Tapas > macanamera 04/21/2015 at 15:53

0

I have considered carrying soda and guac/avocado and jalepenos in my car.

I want to keep them stocked permanently, because paying 0.50c for 4 Jalapenos slices, ~$2.00 for soda and ~$1.50 for avocados every time is expensive!

$2 buys a jar of Jalapenos, ~$1.50 buys half a gallon of soda and $1 gets you a whole Avocado.

cazzyodo > macanamera 04/21/2015 at 15:59

0

Quick, what side of New Orleans are you? I made a damn glorious pan seared steak last month with some garlic butter thrown in the pan and I want to make sure I have been living a lie ever since.

uofime > Textured Soy Protein 04/21/2015 at 16:00

0

That's why it's a 2 to 1 mix.

This leads to a tangential grievance, store bought "fresh" tomatoes are consistently flavorless watery garbage.

The Opponaut formerly known as MattP123 > macanamera 04/21/2015 at 16:11

0

Check the tag line...

Denver Is Stuck In The 90s > macanamera 04/21/2015 at 16:15

1

Drink Delicious Beers Often

DDBO

Daily Drive Body Odor

.......

No Thank You

Party-vi > StoneCold 04/21/2015 at 16:16

0

OK firstly a California roll is not sushi and second the only good California roll is a cucumber California roll.

Textured Soy Protein > uofime 04/21/2015 at 16:23

0

Jarred salsa is primarily cooked tomato products and some seasonings. Guacamole doesn’t even necessarily have tomatoes in it.

Fresh lime juice, jalapeno, garlic, cilantro, green onions and shallots is completely different from salsa where many of those ingredients may exist but have been cooked to death in the jarring process and are swimming in mass quantities of tomato.

As for store-bought tomatoes, yes you are correct. Which is why you’ll notice I mentioned cherry or grape tomatoes since those are consistently the least crappy tomatoes in your average grocery store. Or just get the hydroponic ones.

Yes I am a food snob. I just don’t eat much in the way of packaged food products. Most of it is crap. I’d rather take the time to make stuff myself.

uofime > Textured Soy Protein 04/21/2015 at 16:31

0

I'm wasn't claiming that the lazy method would produce the worlds best guacamole, it won't, but it will be better that what you get at Chipotle for a quarter the cost and takes all of 90 seconds to make. It is the 80% solution.

macanamera > cazzyodo 04/21/2015 at 17:06

0

east of nawlins

macanamera > The Opponaut formerly known as MattP123 04/21/2015 at 17:06

0

YES

macanamera > Brian, The Life of 04/21/2015 at 17:06

0

YES

cazzyodo > macanamera 04/21/2015 at 17:18

1

MonkeePuzzle > macanamera 04/21/2015 at 17:26

0

wrestling them is the suckers way!